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Posts under ‘Celebrity Babies’

Us Weekly Claims Kimmode Looks Like This In A Bikini Because Kris Jenner Threatened To Take Away Their Pocket Money

Kim Kardashian 'You Call This Fat?' Photo

Kimmode spent more time posing for the Us Weekly cameras than bonding with her husband on her own honeymoon. Similarly, on the annual trip out of the country where they pretend to care about one another when the little light is red, the family were recently on a trip to Greece seemingly sponsored by either their pimps at E! or by Us Weekly (who reportedly had a photographer attend as part of the family’s retinue and document the entire vacation up close). In any case, Kris Jenner’s favourite child is keeping the lights on at Us Weekly single-handedly because here they are claiming the 32-year-old looks like this in a bikini in her seventh month of pregnancy when she looks like this the rest of the time.

This Is What Pregnant Kim Kardashian’s Feet Look Like After Being Crammed Into Heels

Kim Kardashian Feet Pregnancy Water Retention Photo

Kim Kardashian Sears Event May 2013 Photo

Kim Kardashian doesn’t seem to know that Kim Kardashian is pregnant so it’s going to be a REAL surprise when the baby in her butt, the baby in her tummy, and the baby in each boob burst out of there like the phallic aliens from Prometheus come July. And because there’s nothing on the whorehouse noticeboard about the pregnancy, it’s business as usual when it comes to her wardrobe. The sisters attended an event promoting their stolen designs in Houston, Texas to which Kim wore an ill-fitting dress and heels. After the event, she shared a photo of what the heels did to her feet. She shared the top photo on Instagram with the caption, ‘Swollen feet or a new Givenchy tattoo?’

Kim Kardashian Fit A Photo Op In The Middle of Her Vacation

Kim Kardashian & Kanye West In Paris

The Jenner kids are currently staying in one of the disused wings in the whorehouse so Kris Jenner can pretend that they’re a happy blended family when the cameras are around. The whole family is in Greece save for Lamar Odom and Kanye West who already cashed out his coupons and bought Kim Kardashian outright. And since he wasn’t part of the vacation, Kardashian made sure to exploit West by doing a photo op in Paris. Because having him stand next to her in pictures obviously means he remembers leaving a baby in there.

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Kate Middleton’s Tummy Finally ‘Popped’ Out

Duchess of Cambridge Visits A Kids' Hospice

The royal baby that’s been gestating in Kate Middleton’s colon this whole time has finally decided on North-facing rather than South-facing and moved its reasonably-priced Ikea furniture up the flight of stairs to her tummy.

6 photos below of Duchess Catherine Middleton, who is still the tiniest kind of pregnant, visiting a children’s hospice in Winchester, England on Monday.

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Spoiler Alert: There’s Probably A Baby In Each Boob Too

The Kardashians Finish Their Boat Ride

I’m probably ruining this for anyone who wanted to be surprised by how many babies came out of Kim Kardashian, but I’ve been keeping count on my fingers and now I need those fingers to type. There’s at least one baby in Kim Kardashian’s belly because that thing ‘popped’ overnight. There’s at least one spare baby in her butt, obviously. And there’s probably at least one baby gestating in each boob which makes four. Photos from her vacation in Greece.

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I Was Right About There Being A Spare Baby In Kim Kardashian’s Butt This Whole Time

The Kardashians Vacation In Greece

The Kardashians pretend to love each other whenever there’s a camera within range, which is why the family pretended to love each other while being followed around by a camera crew in Greece this weekend.  Here’s a photo of Kim Kardashian boarding a yacht (trailed by half the staff of E! News and almost all of her living relatives except for that guy who knocked her up). And I guess there’s a reasonable chance of her falling into the water like there’s a chance any of the cargo could be thrown overboard. Although she’d float safely to shore, even if she were thrown overboard, because the spare baby that’s been growing in her butt like a spare tire this whole time is basically a flotation device.

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