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Posts under ‘Britney Spears’

Britney Spears Reunited With Her True Love

Mar 30th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Britney Spears has made her real comeback. One that involves being reunited with the only true love she’s ever known. The potty. Because no one else’s corns love the feel of freshly-spilt urine on the floor of a public convenience the way hers do, Spears can be seen in Los Angeles, CA shooting a toilet-themed skit for Jimmy Kimmel, co-starring Johnny Knoxville. ‘Just did my first @jackassworld stunt with Knoxville and company. Knoxville better watch his back,’ she tweeted, about the filming. Each picture shows her gazing at the toilet more lovingly than in the last. The long skirt she wore, to mop up stray pee, back in 2004, is no longer in style. So she’s wearing jeans. And protective eyewear. Because all the pee needs to remain near her feet, as dictates her specific fetish for this very ter-let. Spears was on Good Morning America and her turgid brand of lethargy can be seen in full below. And there’s some MTV special, I Am The Femme Fatale, about the making of her album, coming out too. Its trailer is below also.

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Kevin Federline Impregnated Victoria Prince

Mar 30th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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I’d pretty much dismissed yesterday’s reports, of Kevin Federline impregnating Victoria Prince… until seeing them on People.com, a moment ago. If People said I were knocked-up, I’d probably believe them. They make babies happen. They even know where babies come from. Their word is TROOF and absolute. From what I gather news of the sperm that can run through a wall and can, using a pogo stick, leap tall buildings in a single bound, started in The National Enquirer. I don’t think much of them, nor their rate of lucking into half-truths and lucking into a dozen truths out of the hundreds of stories they fabricate every month. Though a spokesperson for Federline, nor the separate rep for his penis and its interest, had a comment for People/ Us Weekly/ OK! it’s being very widely rumoured at this point that Federline, 33, is expecting his fifth child with his long-term girlfriend, former professional volleyball player, Victoria Prince, 28. People’s sources speculate the couple’s first child together will be due in Summer. And so the two children Federline has with Britney Spears will have another random half-sibling. The couple have been dating for over two years. Federline already has four kids; Jayden, 4, and Preston, 5, with ex-wife Britney Spears; son Kaleb, 6, and daughter Kori, 8, with ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson.

Photos From Britney Spears’ GMA Performance

Mar 28th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Because Britney Spears can’t be trusted to speak or perform live anymore, she has pre-recorded her Good Morning America performance. I’d assumed no less, with her doing Q&As on Twitter and emailing interview answers to OUT. It’s kind of a shame, as she used to be able to nail this kind of thing in her sleep. In a free concert in front of 5,000 fans who got to keep their Sausage McMuffin money, the 29-year-old taped her set for Good Morning America on Sunday at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco, CA in the same costumes we’ve already seen after her ‘surprise’ Vegas performance last week. After her lethargic miming and two-stepping to Hold It Against Me, Big Fat Bass, and Till the World Ends, also the same as she did in Vegas (in a warm-up precursor because she can’t even pre-tape something without a costumed dry run elsewhere first), the singer was given a framed proclamation stating March 29 will be ‘Britney Day’ in San Francisco. I’m not sure what times locally this thing will be airing, but I’m pretty sure people will still be wringing the grease from their breakfast McMeals as Spears is airing her crotch. The gold costume with the sparkles is cute, but the rest is a little budget Halloween for my liking. She does look happy, at least, which she hasn’t on stage in a while, and that’s something.

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Britney Spears Performs Surprise Vegas Show

Mar 26th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Britney Spears performed a ‘surprise’ show in Las Vegas. The 29-year-old, who recently streamed her entire album for free for those who wanted to legally preview the entire thing, performed to more than 1,000 people at a mini-concert at the Palms Casino Resort’s Rain Nightclub stage, Las Vegas, on Friday night.

The crowd were probably most surprised by how lethargic the performance was; Spears has never had the ability to sing and dance live, like the likes of Beyonce, but at least she used to do more than two-step. As TMZ.com points out, this show seemed to contain little more than sitting on and walking around props. There’s video at TMZ (it won’t embed, you’ll need to click to watch). The show precedes the Tuesday-release of Spears’ album and also precedes a March 29 visit to Jimmy Kimmel and GMA. The Vegas set included three songs, Hold It Against Me, Big Fat Bass and Till The World Ends, with breaks for costume changes, in which time Jersey Shore’s Pauly D, the DJ, yes really, entertained the crowd. People.com notes ‘Spears did little talking to the crowd,’ aside from intermittently checking whether the same were having a good night and reminding them where they were. The singer’s boyfriend, Jason Trawick, and her father, Jamie Spears, watched from the nightclub’s VIP area, in her first public performance since her Circus Tour in 2009. GMA had excitedly been touting her performance with them as exclusive and a big deal but, after this, it’s really not any more. The Vegas show wasn’t a complete surprise. After rumours began circulating, yesterday, Spears wrote on her Twitter page, ‘Looks like my little secret isn’t a secret anymore… You’re all invited. Be there or be square b****.’

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Britney Spears Claims To Take Two Baths A Day

Mar 24th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Britney Spears is a liar. I quite like the girl at this point, with her spending the better part of her time under conservatorship not flashing her vagina. So those are words I never thought I’d say. However, she’s lied about something pretty blatantly in a new interview. The singer has been giving some rather fluff interviews of late; having some staff member answer questions as her on Twitter, I think anyway, and emailing in answers to the emailed questions asked by Out (assuming she was the person who wrote those at all). I’m pretty much thinking she’s done little personally to promote her album aside from perhaps ‘yes…no’ which interviews at which outlets she wanted her named attached. There’s some exclusive Good Morning America thing coming up, but that’s the only thing off the top of my head for which she’s really going to be present. In any case, there’s some weird ’25 Things You Don’t Know About Me’ article on Us Weekly in which either a heavily-medicated Spears or some assistant actually said the below. Which included responses she’s revealed in interviews before. For example: answer number 18, ‘I played basketball, guard, in high school,’ something she said in interviews during the early 2000s; 20, ‘I’m constantly cleaning my house,’ she said that already during her interview with Matt Lauer; 25, ‘I wrecked my mom’s Lexus in high school,’ she already said that too, during Britney & Kevin: Chaotic, I think. There are some surprises. Spears was so hungry for d**k, she hit on boyfriend Jason Trawick first. She doesn’t ‘own’ a cell, which I interpreted as she’s not allowed (after reading some years back about having her calls screened by conservators and being chastised for calling the ‘wrong people’). The big thing for me was number two… ‘I take two baths a day.’ She would accidentally get her hair wet, some of the time for sure, meaning it wouldn’t always be that greasy. And how is she washing herself that often, so she says, and evidently with all the spills, never washing her clothing?

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Listen To Britney Spears Femme Fatale In Full

Mar 22nd, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Britney Spears’ entire Femme Fatale album, the finished product of which is above, leaked online some weeks ago and was posted in a bunch of places. Because I hate angry letters from people’s representation even more than having to yell ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ ten minutes after waking from a nap, I decided not to post the leak at the time. That, and I got to listen to the entire thing before I had a chance to become bored of the singer’s drip-drip release method in which every promotion requires multiple Twitter pictures and official uploads of snippets and full songs to her SoundCloud and YouTube accounts. In any case, I was just on PopEater.com and they link to some ‘Listening Party’ thing where the entire album plays, as a non-stop playlist, in its entirety, and no one from the FBI kicks your door down at the end as a big finish. The whole thing’s unexpectedly Summery and rather good if you subscribe to the Ark Music Factory-esque method of song writing. I had to listen to one track, How I Roll, a bunch of times and then look up the lyrics after I was sure I’d heard her sing about ‘Go down town, where my p**sy’s at’, and ‘[blah blah] f**k tonight.’ She apparently doesn’t sing about her stagnant, stretched out junk, as exposed every second Sunday of 2006. She’s supposedly singing about her ‘posse’ and ‘luck tonight,’ and ‘thug tonight.’ But I dunno… I think the above’s an uncensored version. I hear ‘f**k.’

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