Scarlett Johansson wore the most underwhelming dress in her laundry hamper to the Los Angeles premiere of The Avengers, in which she plays Black Widow whose skills include jiggling out of harm’s way. Eight photos from the premiere are below because Alexander Skarsgard’s sex stare can easily impregnant you if not buried under the cut (he was on the red carpet supporting actor father Stellan).
Alexander Skarsgard says public airing of his Swedish meatballs for EIGHT HOURS is ‘tame.’ To be more specific, he compares American television to Swedish television. Well, he vaguely compares most European television to American television… and, penises aside, he sort of has a point (insofar as any American rip-offs of our shows are always diluted beyond recognition). The actor is promoting Straw Dogs, before the release of Transformers In The Water/ Battleships in between seasons of True Blood. He’s on the November 2011 cover of OUT Magazine, talking about the hypocritical criticism True Blood receives in America. ‘[True Blood is] very tame, by Swedish standards,’ he said. ‘That always strikes me as weird, because parents in the States freak out if their kids see a nipple or a butt cheek, but, at the same time, they’re OK with their kids watching people bash each other’s heads in with baseball bats. In interviews in the U.S. all people want to talk about is nudity. If it makes sense as a scene, I’ll do it. I don’t even think about it.’ Photos and more from his interview, below.
Alexander Skarsgard and Lara Stone are in the July issue of Vogue Magazine, for which Emma Watson is on the cover. The photo shoot’s pretty unremarkable, but so is this month’s American cover, so the expectations were never that high. We can see the True Blood actor, whose show needs to come back on air already, and the model married to British comedian David Walliams. It’s one of those random shoots of pretty people in monochromes staring into the light as you ponder how to lift the items they’re wearing without ending up on house arrest. But it’s worth an honorable mention, if solely for its use of Prop Skarsgard ™.
…except this time I somehow spilled a whole bunch on my pants too. Better take those off, lest I get any goop on my computer chair. I was only just done licking the sticky stuff off my screen from the last time I posted about Alexander Skarsgard. Be still my aching panties, he’s on another cover. And, since True Blood season four’s not on until June 26, and the Straw Dogs remake’s not out until September, I think, we’ve got months until this madness is going to stop. The madness of ruining new panties and new computers in equal number. Not the covers themselves, of course. This cover is for the lazily-named Interview’s June/ July 2011 issue. It shows Skarsgard as some kind of very damp serial killer. In his interview, which I’m yet to read, he basically talks about the danger of being stereotyped as his True Blood character, Eric Northman, for the rest of his life.
I seem to have spilled an entire bottle of maple syrup all over the screen of my brand new laptop. Please excuse me while I sit in the corner, intermittently rocking back and forth and licking it off. I happened to be opening these pictures of Alexander Skarsgard at the time of the spill. And so, if anyone walks in and catches me licking these pictures… that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. The fourth series of True Blood doesn’t start until June 26 and it needs to hurry up already. The only good thing about the six week wait is more interviews with the cast. Specifically Skarsgard. More specifically, the dude’s arms. On a tenuously-linked note, the 34-year-old’s father is actor Stellan Skarsgard, 59, who’s married to 34-year-old Megan Everett. Dude’s the same age as his stepmother. Moreover, Everett was only months-old at the time of Stellan Skarsgard’s first marriage.
Below is the teaser for True Blood season four. I’m excited. I can’t even lie. I’ve been killing time since the end of season three, alternating between adding to my Alexander Skarsgard shirtless fap folder (thank you, Google images) and Googling morbid fan fiction that’s illegal in 40 states. It’s been a fun time. But I’ve almost filled an external drive with images and malware and I’m bored of reading any fiction that doesn’t explicitly feature Eric Northman’s disembodied penis and Bill Compron’s luscious man bangs. This trailer has precisely 1% the Skarsgard that is required to have me peeing my panties in anticipation (no one’s in the actual trailer, but I gather one should allow for a 1% margin of error). It’s simple and reveals little, but when there’s something juicier, I’ll post.
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