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Jennifer Lopez And The Slum Bear Will Sue

Jennifer Lopez and The Slum Bear (formerly, The Choreographer) were checking the headlines over Fruity Pebbles that had been left in the milk too long, when the news broke that some random sex worker who needed the money sold her story to two tabloids claiming he’s the Slum John Travolta. Two tabloid covers this week claim The Slum Bear received a ’10-minute’ handy-j from a woman named ‘Bibi’ with paparazzi claiming he looked ‘relaxed’ at the parlor and his stories about buying bulk lube were lies because he left without carrying anything (and his rep’s claims he got a tattoo nearby were supposedly lies because he had the tattoo back in May). Well, it’s also reportedly a gay sex hangout which Lopez is unhappy about but The Slum Bear swears he’s innocent. So he’s innocent. Her lawyers are threatening to sue In Touch and Star unless retractions are printed.

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