Kim Zolciak’s Wigs Didn’t Sign Up For This S**t

Britney Spears covers Lucky December 2012 on which she’s wearing someone else’s hair and someone else’s face because her own face is 30-years-old and the face on this cover is barely old enough to vote Romney only because she pushed the wrong button. And I concur from the hairline that’s someone else’s wig because the singer’s old face had a forehead and her new face does not. Whomever that is on the cover also gave an interview in which she admits to settling on her new dungeon master because he allows sweatpants in the house.

On what makes Jason Trawick different from the previous men in her life: ‘He was sweet. He says he doesn’t mind that I sit around in sweats all the time.’
On her make-up routine: ‘I really just wear mascara all the time. And powder, because I have zits.’
On her daily routine: ‘I work out. I swim. I play with the kids, I cook, and I garden. We play Connect Four. We play Candy Land. Last night we read The Night Pirates.’
On how her two sons, Jayden James and Sean Preston, view her career: ‘They’re in the middle right now of trying to figure it out. They try to figure out where I go when I go to film X Factor. They’re like, ‘Mommy’s going off to be a superhero.’ and then I get back, and they just see me as Mommy. And then when I’m back working on the show, they say, ‘Oh, Mommy’s a superhero again!’’
On whether her sons will pursue fame: ‘If there was something they really wanted to do and were passionate about, I’d encourage them to follow their dreams. But I’d also be there behind the curtain saying, ‘No, don’t go out there.’’
On haters: ‘It’s just something that you get used to in this business. I think most people are their own worst critics. I’m a perfectionist. I want things done a certain way. I am hard on myself but not regretful.’
On an early taste of fame: ‘As a child, when you think of being a superstar someday, you picture it like a dream world,” she tells the mag. ‘[The Mickey Mouse Cluc] was so exciting! The way people talked and ate and how expensive it was… it was such a huge change for me.’