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Brian Austin Green Surprised No One Cared About The Birth Of His Kid With Megan Fox

Brian Austin Green has given one of his first interviews since announcing the birth of his son a month after the fact because whomever leaked the due date was about to do the same for the delivery. Speaking about Reese Witherspoon, whose baby also fell out of her vagina in secret because if a baby falls out of someone’s vagina in the woods and no one’s around to hear it it doesn’t make a sound, Green said: ‘I’ve been wanting to send Reese Witherspoon flowers for, like, a month and a half now.’ Then, conflating Witherspoon’s secret-keeping with no one really caring that Megan Fox gave birth, Green continued: ‘We got out of the hospital and nobody knew. We got home and thought, ‘This is unbelievable.’ We weren’t expecting to be able to get away with it. We were expecting all the [media] guys in the hallways and the parking structure.’

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One Comment

  1. Hm says:

    I haven’t given a shit about her for a while now. Pretty sure I’m not alone.