Howdy, welcome to today’s snarky blind items.
RULES: Each post will contain numbered Blind Items. Three items are mentioned below. If you read the item and think you know who any of the celebs are, just go to the comments section and write the number and name! No prizes for a correct guess, just me running you a nice warm bubble bath.
TODAY’S BLIND ITEMS…
- What surprisingly prolific heavy metal artist/television host and reality star (we Americans only know one song, really and one very famous cover photo) rearranged his schedule to attend the wake of a 24 year-old fan, because he heard that the deceased’s wish was to have him play at his funeral? He played the piano in the corner for over four hours, shook everyone’s hand, and mourned with everyone as though they’d known each other for years. (CDAN)
- Every year some of my favorite items come from Fashion Week. This year is no different. This C list film actress from a former hit television show who has B+ name recognition has been going around from tent to tent begging designers to give her free clothes and has also asked every celebrity she runs into if they have a place she can stay for the night. Maybe if she wouldn’t spend so much on the drugs she is sniffing constantly she would have enough money for a hotel room. (CDAN)
- Which Brit Award nominee was left quaking in their boots when cops carried out a random drugs search with sniffer dogs? The muso quickly fled, fearing the worst. (The Mirror)
GUESS THE MYSTERY CELEBS IN THE COMMENTS…
1. andrew wk, wl? wsomething. wouldn’t necessarily call him metal though. (i knows one! i knows one!)
2. boo for having fashion week and forgetting to tell me! sadly the girl who used to work for an agency and would talent scout girls for a bunch of shows had a kid and stopped parading models through my lobby. this makes me sad.
how are you c-list with b+ name recognition? isn’t it sorta like the weather? if it feels like it’s 30 degrees then it’s frickin 30 degrees…
3. this is one of the ones i really hate…it’s fake. why? because it could literally be anyone. seriously they didn’t even use a gender specific pronoun so call the grammar police cuz “their” makes no sense there. of course the grammar police ripped up my junior officer sticker badge years ago. i cried. they said i could have it back if i even pretended to know what a capital letter was but i told em to go screw CUZ EVERY ONE KNOWS CAPS ARE RUDE!!! they then told me there’s no such word as “cuz” and walked away all righteously indignant and stuff.
Hey baby
First things first, it’d be quicker just to punch me in the face and be done with it. I tells no fibs. Tell off Mr Blind Item if you think someone is telling tales 
1) I thought this would be right up your alley. I know shit all about rock
2) You give a shit about fashion week?
3) Great spot. I long retired from the Grammar Police and didn’t even notice. Please drop The Mirror an angry email forthwith and give them a spanking over their item!!!
i’d never punch you in the face nor would i accuse you of tellin no fibs. unless you liked that sorta thing. then i’d make an exception, but i’m not that good at it. had a girl that liked that once used to beg to be hit and you’d think i’d be all into it cuz it seems like a fun idea but meh…
1) yeah i forget where i read that
2) of course i do. well, no i don’t. other than the fact that fashion week usually means more insanely gorgeous women than normal walking around my fine city.
3) wouldn’t the mirror just look at my silly american grammar and discount anything i had to say?
Ah, always the gentleman!
The Mirror are kind of working class and considered a bit ‘gutter’, you know. They can’t afford to turn up their noses.