British singer Adele, who needs no last name, as I gather those are optional when one has talent, covers the latest issue of Rolling Stone. The magazine’s cover is above and shows the 22-year-old looking better than I’ve ever seen her. Because their patronising interview technique works so well, and we’ve all forgotten they asked a 17-year-old to take a stance on abortion, we’re moving on to a singer’s weight. A singer who sounds like this. I can’t. Why are they asking about her weight? We can see the girl’s not a stick, but are we not handing out some kind of special amnesty against obnoxious questions when people don’t phone in their entire album’s promotion? Guess not. She’s asked how she lives being so fatty fat fat. Sort of. To which she gives the appropriate ‘ugh, dumbasses’ response of: ‘I won’t have time to worry about something as petty as what I look like.’
- On her difficulty performing in front of audiences: ‘I’m scared of audiences,’ she tells the magazine. ‘One show in Amsterdam I was so nervous I escaped out the fire exit. I’ve thrown up a couple of times. Once in Brussels I projectile vomited on someone. I just gotta bear it. But I don’t like touring. I have anxiety attacks a lot.’
- On her weight being a non-issue: ‘My life is full of drama and I won’t have time to worry about something as petty as what I look like,’ she tells the magazine. ‘I don’t like going to the gym, [and] I like eating fine foods and drinking nice wine. Even if I had a really good figure, I don’t think I’d get my tits and ass out for no one.’
- On not minding other singers taking it off: ‘I love seeing Lady Gaga’s boobs and bum,’ she says. ‘I love seeing Katy Perry’s boobs and bum. Love it. But that’s not what my music is about. I don’t make music for eyes. I make music for ears.’
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